We all know that one person who is obnoxious, loud, impolite, attention-seeking and yet, extremely successful. This type of unfiltered extroversion may work for some, but is not a clear reflection of a person’s level of magnetism.
Magnetism must not be confused with narcissism. Magnetism is the ability we each have to pull others towards us. This magnetic pull comes from sincerity, not puffery. There is nothing appealing about working with a smug, superficial, bullish, entitled person who manipulates their way to success.
Business dealings are more successful when shared with people we enjoy. We’re naturally drawn to people who are polite, agreeable, open, intelligent, discerning and kind. In all truth, people may initially be impressed with what is artificial, but long-term, the large majority prefer and appreciate what is genuine. This means we each have the potential to “up” our own magnetism.
When we come across a magnetic person, what stands out is their vibe. Magnetic people are sincerely interested and glad when meeting others. They give people the feeling that they “get” them by respecting their ideas, thoughts, experience, and points of view.
This genuine quality instantly makes other people feel important. Magnetic people show their sincerity through how they communicate. They are engrossed in their interactions, and show interest to others through their body language. Magnetic people maintain eye-contact, laugh when others laugh, show empathy through their facial expressions when hearing of another’s frustrations, and nod when others nod. This type of mirroring creates a feedback loop which serves to deepen bonds, and is at the very essence of magnetism.
Magnetic people tend to be self-contained and discerning. They do not assume instant trust or an instant bond with anyone. Rather, they reveal who they are in small, but appropriate doses. They are private observers, and selective when exposing their vulnerabilities.
This discerning quality draws interest from others because magnetic people are not consistently positioning themselves to win unspoken competitions with the people they meet or interact with. Magnetic people are collaborative, self-possessed and a bit mysterious. This mystery breeds curiosity. Due to social media, it has become more and more unusual to come across people who aren’t overly self-exposing.
Magnetic people approach conflict from a place of agreement, rather than contradiction. Magnetic people don’t intentionally seek to disagree; instead, they seek for points of commonality and work from there. They are well-trained to discuss, challenge and advocate for the causes they believe in.
Those high in magnetism believe that securely established, successful, long-standing agreements manifest through the exchange and intense negotiation of varying opinions. They are aware that automatic agreement doesn’t make things better; the process of discovery does.
4. Hands on
Magnetic people are hands on, literally and figuratively. They understand the power of appropriate nonsexual touch.
Touch communicates to others, without words, their value, worth and significance. Touch reinforces the sincerity of their words, it expresses their excitement, comradery, empathy and confidence. Touch is a pure statement of one’s authenticity, and has huge influence over the behavior of others.
Appropriate and well-timed touch increases compliance. It makes the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly, and can absolutely be magnetic enough to help close a deal.
Magnetic people do not mind revealing their shortcomings.
They are comfortable with who they are, making it easy for them to live with a lighthearted sense of humor. They have no issue admitting mistakes or being the main character in a cautionary tale. They are at ease when they are the source of laughter for themselves or others. They do not take themselves or life too seriously, and others tend to respect them more for this. Their shortcomings make them human, which gives other people the permission to be more genuine as well.
When magnetic people own their foibles, people don’t laugh at them, they laugh with them.
Magnetic people have a way of making others feel at the center of their attention. They possess very natural communication skills and know how to ask sincere open-ended questions as an avenue to get to others to be more self-revealing. The questions they ask reach beyond the superficial, provoking people to answer questions from a more thoughtful and introspective place.
Magnetic people focus on the good in others and in what they share, making those people view themselves in a more positive light. When people are made to feel good about who they are, they instantly carry a more magnetic vibe themselves.
The average loudmouth may put on a great show in certain situations, but these types don’t try nearly as hard to operate with integrity when around someone they view as below them. If you really want to know how someone treats other people, take them to lunch, to an airport or to some other type of an event where they have to interact with people who work in the service industry.
Magnetic people are lovers of humans. They do not view others as less intelligent, or of lesser value based on what they do for a career. They value all people for what they offer and treat them with respect. Magnetic people are tolerant, embrace their own imperfections, and strongly believe everyone deserves to be treated with kindness.
Magnetic people pay attention to detail. They are great with remembering names, important dates, times, and other personal details people have shared about themselves. These details relate to a person’s identity; to who they are. This type of detailed attention makes others feel like they matter.
The fact that magnetic people remember things about other people, make these people feel a little prouder and better about who they are. Those strong in magnetism know that the “small things” are the “big things” in relationships.
9. Low drama
Magnetic people have all the accolades they need under their belt to feel worthy, successful and proud of their character. They are not “name-droppers,” nor are they obsessed with well-known athletes, stars or other high-status people. They do not need to use social media outlets or other dramatic ways to boast about who they are. They have a balance when it comes to success, and do not need to sell who they know to garner the respect and adoration they crave. Their character, and the confidence they have in themselves is the only platform they stand upon. This approach only adds to their magnetism.
10. Less is more
Magnetic people do not need to be the life of the party, the dictator of the conversation or to have all the attention focused on them. They are magnetic because they are comfortable within themselves and in what they know. They are more interested learning what other people know. Their willingness to listen makes other people feel important.
Magnetic people do not over-compliment. They trust that the very simple act of being genuinely interested in another person is enough. When it comes to magnetism, less is always more.
Copyright © 2017 Entrepreneur Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
This article originally appeared on Entrepreneur.com. Minor edits have been done by the Entrepreneur.com.ph editors.